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Doctor Faustus
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Act IV, Scene vii

Enter the DUKE OF VANHOLT, his DUCHESS, FAUSTUS, MEPHISTOPHILIS,
and ATTENDANTS.
DUKE. Thanks, Master Doctor, for these pleasant sights; nor know
I how sufficiently to recompense your great deserts in erecting
that enchanted castle in the air,<210> the sight whereof so
delighted<211> me as nothing in the world could please me more.
FAUSTUS. I do think myself, my good lord, highly recompensed in
that it pleaseth<212> your grace to think but well of that which
Faustus hath performed.—But, gracious lady, it may be that you
have taken no pleasure in those sights; therefore, I pray you
tell me, what is the thing you most desire to have; be it in the
world, it shall be yours: I have heard that great-bellied women
do long for things are rare and dainty.
DUCHESS. True, Master Doctor; and, since I find you so kind,
I will make known unto you what my heart desires to have; and,
were it now summer, as it is January, a dead time of the winter,
I would request no better meat than a dish of ripe grapes.
FAUSTUS. This is but a small matter.—Go, Mephistophilis; away!
[Exit MEPHISTOPHILIS.]
Madam, I will do more than this for your content.
Re-Enter MEPHISTOPHILIS with grapes.:
Here now, taste you these: they should be good, for they come<213>
from a far country, I can tell you.
DUKE. This makes me wonder more than all the rest, that at this
time of the year, when every tree is barren of his fruit, from
whence you had these ripe grapes.<214>
FAUSTUS. Please it your grace, the year is divided into two
circles over the whole world; so that, when it is winter with
us, in the contrary circle it is likewise summer with them, as
in India, Saba, and such countries that lie far east, where
they have fruit twice a-year; from whence, by means of a swift
spirit that I have, I had these grapes brought, as you see.
DUCHESS. And, trust me, they are the sweetest grapes that e'er
I tasted.
[The CLOWNS bounce<215> at the gate, within.]
DUKE. What rude disturbers have we at the gate?
Go, pacify their fury, set it ope,
And then demand of them what they would have.
[They knock again, and call out to talk with FAUSTUS.]
SERVANT. Why, how now, masters! what a coil is there!
What is the reason you disturb the Duke?
DICK[within]. We have no reason for it; therefore a fig for him!
SERVANT. Why, saucy varlets, dare you be so bold?
HORSE-COURSER[within]. I hope, sir, we have wit enough to be
more bold than welcome.
SERVANT. It appears so: pray, be bold elsewhere, and trouble
not the Duke.
DUKE. What would they have?
SERVANT. They all cry out to speak with Doctor Faustus.
CARTER[within]. Ay, and we will speak with him.
DUKE. Will you, sir?—Commit the rascals.
DICK[within]. Commit with us! he were as good commit with his
father as commit with us.
FAUSTUS. I do beseech your grace, let them come in;
They are good subject for<216> a merriment.
DUKE. Do as thou wilt, Faustus; I give thee leave.
FAUSTUS. I thank your grace.
Enter ROBIN, DICK, CARTER, and HORSE-COURSER.
Why, how now, my good friends!
Faith, you are too outrageous: but, come near;
I have procur'd your pardons:<217> welcome, all.
ROBIN. Nay, sir, we will be welcome for our money, and we will
pay for what we take.—What, ho! give's half a dozen of beer here,
and be hanged!
FAUSTUS. Nay, hark you; can you tell me<218> where you are?
CARTER. Ay, marry, can I; we are under heaven.
SERVANT. Ay; but, Sir Saucebox, know you in what place?
HORSE-COURSER. Ay, ay, the house is good enough to drink in.
—Zouns, fill us some beer, or we'll break all the barrels in
the house, and dash out all your brains with your bottles!
FAUSTUS. Be not so furious: come, you shall have beer.—
My lord, beseech you give me leave a while;
I'll gage my credit 'twill content your grace.
DUKE. With all my heart, kind doctor; please thyself;
Our servants and our court's at thy command.
FAUSTUS. I humbly thank your grace.—Then fetch some beer.
HORSE-COURSER. Ay, marry, there spake<219> a doctor, indeed!
and, faith, I'll drink a health to thy wooden leg for that word.
FAUSTUS. My wooden leg! what dost thou mean by that?
CARTER. Ha, ha, ha!—Dost hear him,<220> Dick? he has forgot his
leg.
HORSE-COURSER. Ay, ay, he does not stand much upon that.
FAUSTUS. No, faith; not much upon a wooden leg.
CARTER. Good Lord, that flesh and blood should be so frail with
your worship! Do not you remember a horse-courser you sold a
horse to?
FAUSTUS. Yes, I remember I sold one a horse.
CARTER. And do you remember you bid he should not ride him<221>
into the water?
FAUSTUS. Yes, I do very well remember that.
CARTER. And do you remember nothing of your leg?
FAUSTUS. No, in good sooth.
CARTER. Then, I pray you,<222> remember your courtesy.
FAUSTUS. I<223> thank you, sir.
CARTER. 'Tis not so much worth. I pray you, tell me one thing.
FAUSTUS. What's that?
CARTER. Be both your legs bed-fellows every night together?
FAUSTUS. Wouldst thou make a Colossus of me, that thou askest me
such questions?
CARTER. No, truly, sir; I would make nothing of you; but I would
fain know that.
Enter HOSTESS with drink.:
FAUSTUS. Then, I assure thee certainly, they are.
CARTER. I thank you; I am fully satisfied.
FAUSTUS. But wherefore dost thou ask?
CARTER. For nothing, sir: but methinks you should have a wooden
bed-fellow of one of 'em.
HORSE-COURSER. Why, do you hear, sir? did not I<224> pull off
one of your legs when you were asleep?
FAUSTUS. But I have it again, now I am awake: look you here, sir.
ALL. O, horrible! had the doctor three legs?
CARTER. Do you remember, sir, how you cozened me, and eat up my
load of——
[FAUSTUS, in the middle of each speech, charms them dumb.]
DICK. Do you remember how you made me wear an ape's——
HORSE-COURSER. You whoreson conjuring scab, do you remember how
you cozened me with a ho——
ROBIN. Ha'<225> you forgotten me? you think to carry it away with
your hey-pass and re-pass: do you remember the dog's fa——
[Exeunt CLOWNS.]
HOSTESS. Who pays for the ale? hear you, Master Doctor; now you
have sent away my guess,<226> I pray who shall pay me for my a——
[Exit HOSTESS.]
DUCHESS. My lord,
We are much beholding<227> to this learned man.
DUKE. So are we, madam; which we will recompense
With all the love and kindness that we may:
His artful sport<228> drives all sad thoughts away.
[Exeunt.]
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