Act I, Scene iv

Enter WAGNER and CLOWN.:

WAGNER. Come hither, sirrah boy.

CLOWN. Boy! O, disgrace to my person! zounds, boy in your face!

You have seen many boys with beards, I am sure.

WAGNER. Sirrah,<38> hast thou no comings in?

CLOWN. Yes, and goings out too, you may see, sir.

WAGNER. Alas, poor slave! see how poverty jests in his nakedness!

I know the villain's out of service, and so hungry, that I know

he would give his soul to the devil for a shoulder of mutton,

though it were blood-raw.

CLOWN. Not so neither: I had need to have it well roasted, and

good sauce to it, if I pay so dear, I can tell you.

WAGNER. Sirrah, wilt thou be my man, and wait on me, and I will

make thee go like Qui mihi discipulus?

CLOWN. What, in verse?

WAGNER. No, slave; in beaten silk and staves-acre.

CLOWN. Staves-acre! that's good to kill vermin: then, belike,

if I serve you, I shall be lousy.

WAGNER. Why, so thou shalt be, whether thou dost it or no; for,

sirrah, if thou dost not presently bind thyself to me for seven

years, I'll turn all the lice about thee into familiars, and make

them tear thee in pieces.

CLOWN. Nay, sir, you may save<39> yourself a labour, for they

are as familiar with me as if they paid for their meat and drink,

I can tell you.

WAGNER. Well, sirrah, leave your jesting, and take these guilders.

[Gives money.]

CLOWN. Yes, marry, sir; and I thank you too.

WAGNER. So, now thou art to be at an hour's warning, whensoever

and wheresoever the devil shall fetch thee.

CLOWN. Here, take your guilders again;<40> I'll none of 'em.

WAGNER. Not I; thou art pressed: prepare thyself, or<41> I will

presently raise up two devils to carry thee away.—Banio! Belcher!

CLOWN. Belcher! an Belcher come here, I'll belch him: I am not

afraid of a devil.

Enter two DEVILS.:

WAGNER. How now, sir! will you serve me now?

CLOWN. Ay, good Wagner; take away the devil[s], then.

WAGNER. Spirits, away!

[Exeunt DEVILS.]

Now, sirrah, follow me.

CLOWN. I will, sir: but hark you, master; will you teach me this

conjuring occupation?

WAGNER. Ay, sirrah, I'll teach thee to turn thyself to a dog,

or a cat, or a mouse, or a rat, or any thing.

CLOWN. A dog, or a cat, or a mouse, or a rat!

O, brave, Wagner!

WAGNER. Villain, call me Master Wagner, and see that you walk

attentively, and let your right eye be always diametrally fixed

upon my left heel, that thou mayst quasi vestigiis nostris<42>

insistere.

CLOWN. Well, sir, I warrant you.

[Exeunt.]