Act IV, Scene iv:
The same.

[Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS and an OFFICER.]

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Fear me not, man; I will not break away:

I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,

To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.

My wife is in a wayward mood to-day;

And will not lightly trust the messenger

That I should be attach'd in Ephesus;

I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.

[Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS, with a rope's end.]

Here comes my man: I think he brings the money.

How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

But where's the money?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Five hundred ducats, villain, for rope?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

To a rope's end, sir; and to that end am I return'd.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.

[Beating him.]

OFFICER:

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.

OFFICER:

Good now, hold thy tongue.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Thou whoreson senseless villain!

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

I am an ass indeed; you may prove it by my long 'ears. I have

served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have

nothing at his hands for my service but blows: when I am cold he

heats me with beating; when I am warm he cools me with beating. I

am waked with it when I sleep; raised with it when I sit; driven

out of doors with it when I go from home; welcomed home with it

when I return: nay, I bear it on my shoulders as beggar wont her

brat; and I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it

from door to door.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.

[Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and the COURTEZAN, with PINCH andothers.]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or rather, the

prophesy, like the parrot, 'Beware the rope's-end.'

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Wilt thou still talk?

[Beats him.]

COURTEZAN:

How say you now? is not your husband mad?

ADRIANA:

His incivility confirms no less.—

Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;

Establish him in his true sense again,

And I will please you what you will demand.

LUCIANA:

Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!

COURTEZAN:

Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!

PINCH:

Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.

PINCH:

I charge thee, Satan, hous'd within this man,

To yield possession to my holy prayers,

And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:

I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Peace, doting wizard, peace; I am not mad.

ADRIANA:

O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

You minion, you, are these your customers?

Did this companion with the saffron face

Revel and feast it at my house to-day,

Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,

And I denied to enter in my house?

ADRIANA:

O husband, God doth know you din'd at home,

Where would you had remain'd until this time,

Free from these slanders and this open shame!

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

I din'd at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Perdy, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

And did not she herself revile me there?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Sans fable, she herself revil'd you there.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Certes, she did: the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

And did not I in rage depart from thence?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

In verity, you did;—my bones bear witness,

That since have felt the vigour of his rage.

ADRIANA:

Is't good to soothe him in these contraries?

PINCH:

It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein,

And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.

ADRIANA:

Alas! I sent you money to redeem you,

By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Money by me! heart and goodwill you might,

But surely, master, not a rag of money.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Went'st not thou to her for purse of ducats?

ADRIANA:

He came to me, and I deliver'd it.

LUCIANA:

And I am witness with her that she did.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

God and the rope-maker, bear me witness

That I was sent for nothing but a rope!

PINCH:

Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;

I know it by their pale and deadly looks:

They must be bound, and laid in some dark room.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day?—

And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?

ADRIANA:

I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold;

But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out.

ADRIANA:

Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;

And art confederate with a damned pack,

To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:

But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes

That would behold in me this shameful sport.

[PINCH and assistants bind ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS and DROMIO OFEPHESUS.]

ADRIANA:

O, bind him, bind him; let him not come near me.

PINCH:

More company;—the fiend is strong within him.

LUCIANA:

Ah me, poor man! how pale and wan he looks!

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,

I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them

To make a rescue?

OFFICER:

Masters, let him go:

He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.

PINCH:

Go, bind this man, for he is frantic too.

ADRIANA:

What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?

Hast thou delight to see a wretched man

Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

OFFICER:

He is my prisoner: if I let him go,

The debt he owes will be requir'd of me.

ADRIANA:

I will discharge thee ere I go from thee;

Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,

And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.

Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd

Home to my house.—O most unhappy day!

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

O most unhappy strumpet!

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Master, I am here enter'd in bond for you.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:

Out on thee, villian! wherefore dost thou mad me?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master; cry, the

devil.—

LUCIANA:

God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!

ADRIANA:

Go bear him hence.—Sister, go you with me.—

[Exeunt PINCH and Assistants, with ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS andDROMIO OF EPHESUS.]

Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?

OFFICER:

One Angelo, a goldsmith; do you know him?

ADRIANA:

I know the man: what is the sum he owes?

OFFICER:

Two hundred ducats.

ADRIANA:

Say, how grows it due?

OFFICER:

Due for a chain your husband had of him.

ADRIANA:

He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.

COURTEZAN:

When as your husband, all in rage, to-day

Came to my house, and took away my ring,—

The ring I saw upon his finger now,—

Straight after did I meet him with a chain.

ADRIANA:

It may be so, but I did never see it:

Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is,

I long to know the truth hereof at large.

[Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, with his rapier drawn, and DROMIOOF SYRACUSE.]

LUCIANA:

God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.

ADRIANA:

And come with naked swords: let's call more help,

To have them bound again.

OFFICER:

Away, they'll kill us.

[Exeunt OFFICER, ADRIANA, and LUCIANA.]

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE:

I see these witches are afraid of swords.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE:

She that would be your wife now ran from you.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE:

Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:

I long that we were safe and sound aboard.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE:

Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us no harm; you

saw they speak us fair, give us gold; methinks they are such a

gentle nation that, but for the mountain of mad flesh that claims

marriage of me, could find in my heart to stay here still and

turn witch.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE:

I will not stay to-night for all the town;

Therefore away to get our stuff aboard.

[Exeunt.]