Act II, Scene i:
A public place.

[Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.]

ADRIANA:

Neither my husband nor the slave return'd

That in such haste I sent to seek his master!

Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.

LUCIANA:

Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,

And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner.

Good sister, let us dine, and never fret:

A man is master of his liberty;

Time is their master; and when they see time,

They'll go or come. If so, be patient, sister.

ADRIANA:

Why should their liberty than ours be more?

LUCIANA:

Because their business still lies out o' door.

ADRIANA:

Look when I serve him so, he takes it ill.

LUCIANA:

O, know he is the bridle of your will.

ADRIANA:

There's none but asses will be bridled so.

LUCIANA:

Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe.

There's nothing situate under heaven's eye

But hath his bound in earth, in sea, in sky;

The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,

Are their males' subjects, and at their controls:

Man, more divine, the masters of all these,

Lord of the wide world and wild wat'ry seas,

Indued with intellectual sense and souls

Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls,

Are masters to their females, and their lords:

Then let your will attend on their accords.

ADRIANA:

This servitude makes you to keep unwed.

LUCIANA:

Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed.

ADRIANA:

But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.

LUCIANA:

Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey.

ADRIANA:

How if your husband start some other where?

LUCIANA:

Till he come home again, I would forbear.

ADRIANA:

Patience unmov'd, no marvel though she pause:

They can be meek that have no other cause.

A wretched soul, bruis'd with adversity,

We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;

But were we burd'ned with like weight of pain,

As much, or more, we should ourselves complain:

So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,

With urging helpless patience would relieve me:

But if thou live to see like right bereft,

This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left.

LUCIANA:

Well, I will marry one day, but to try:—

Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh.

[Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS.]

ADRIANA:

Say, is your tardy master now at hand?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness.

ADRIANA:

Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear. Beshrew his hand, I

scarce could understand it.

LUCIANA:

Spake he so doubtfully thou could'st not feel his meaning?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Nay, he struck so plainly I could too well feel his blows; and

withal so doubtfully that I could scarce understand them.

ADRIANA:

But say, I pr'ythee, is he coming home?

It seems he hath great care to please his wife.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad.

ADRIANA:

Horn-mad, thou villain?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, he's stark mad.

When I desir'd him to come home to dinner,

He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold:

"Tis dinner time' quoth I; 'My gold,' quoth he:

'Your meat doth burn' quoth I; 'My gold,' quoth he:

'Will you come home?' quoth I; 'My gold,' quoth he:

'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?'

'The pig' quoth I 'is burn'd'; 'My gold,' quoth he:

'My mistress, sir,' quoth I; 'Hang up thy mistress;

I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!'

LUCIANA:

Quoth who?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Quoth my master:

'I know' quoth he 'no house, no wife, no mistress:'

So that my errand, due unto my tongue,

I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders;

For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.

ADRIANA:

Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Go back again! and be new beaten home?

For God's sake, send some other messenger.

ADRIANA:

Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

And he will bless that cross with other beating:

Between you I shall have a holy head.

ADRIANA:

Hence, prating peasant: fch thy master home.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS:

Am I so round with you, as you with me,

That like a football you do spurn me thus?

You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither:

If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.

[Exit.]

LUCIANA:

Fie, how impatience low'reth in your face!

ADRIANA:

His company must do his minions grace,

Whilst I at home starve for a merry look.

Hath homely age the alluring beauty took

From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it:

Are my discourses dull? barren my wit?

If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd,

Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard:

Do their gay vestments his affections bait?

That's not my fault; he's master of my state:

What ruins are in me that can be found

By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground

Of my defeatures: my decayed fair

A sunny look of his would soon repair;

But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale

And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale.

LUCIANA:

Self-harming jealousy!—fie, beat it hence.

ADRIANA:

Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense.

I know his eye doth homage otherwhere;

Or else what lets it but he would be here?

Sister, you know he promis'd me a chain;—

Would that alone, alone he would detain,

So he would keep fair quarter with his bed!

I see the jewel best enamelled

Will lose his beauty; yet the gold 'bides still

That others touch, yet often touching will

Wear gold; and no man that hath a name

By falsehood and corruption doth it shame.

Since that my beauty cannot please his eye,

I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die.

LUCIANA:

How many fond fools serve mad jealousy!

[Exeunt.]