READ STUDY GUIDE: Act II, scene ii; Act III, scene i |
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Act III, Scene i:
The same.
The same.
| [Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, DROMIO OF EPHESUS, ANGELO, andBALTHAZAR.] |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all. |
| My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours: |
| Say that I linger'd with you at your shop |
| To see the making of her carcanet, |
| And that to-morrow you will bring it home. |
| But here's a villain that would face me down. |
| He met me on the mart; and that I beat him, |
| And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold; |
| And that I did deny my wife and house:— |
| Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know: |
| That you beat me at the mart I have your hand to show; |
| If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink, |
| Your own handwriting would tell you what I think. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| I think thou art an ass. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| Marry, so it doth appear |
| By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear. |
| I should kick, being kick'd; and being at that pass, |
| You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| You are sad, Signior Balthazar; pray God our cheer |
| May answer my good will and your good welcome here. |
| BALTHAZAR: |
| I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| O, Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, |
| A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish. |
| BALTHAZAR: |
| Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words. |
| BALTHAZAR |
| Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing guest. |
| But though my cates be mean, take them in good part; |
| Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart. |
| But, soft; my door is lock'd: go bid them let us in. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen! |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| [Within] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch! |
| Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch: |
| Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store, |
| When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street. |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Who talks within there? Ho, open the door! |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| Right, sir; I'll tell you when an you'll tell me wherefore. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Wherefore! For my dinner: I have not dined to-day. |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| Nor to-day here you must not; come again when you may. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| What art thou that keep'st me out from the house I owe? |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name; |
| The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame. |
| If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place, |
| Thou wouldst have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an |
| ass. |
| LUCE: |
| [Within.] What a coil is there! Dromio, who are those at the |
| gate? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| Let my master in, Luce. |
| LUCE: |
| Faith, no, he comes too late; |
| And so tell your master. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| O Lord, I must laugh;— |
| Have at you with a proverb:—Shall I set in my staff? |
| LUCE: |
| Have at you with another: that's—When? can you tell? |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| If thy name be called Luce,—Luce, thou hast answer'd him well. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I hope? |
| LUCE: |
| I thought to have ask'd you. |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| And you said no. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| So, Come, help: well struck; there was blow for blow. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Thou baggage, let me in. |
| LUCE: |
| Can you tell for whose sake? |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| Master, knock the door hard. |
| LUCE: |
| Let him knock till it ache. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down. |
| LUCE: |
| What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town? |
| ADRIANA: |
| [Within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise? |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Are you there, wife? you might have come before. |
| ADRIANA: |
| Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the door. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore. |
| ANGELO: |
| Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome: we would fain have |
| either. |
| BALTHAZAR: |
| In debating which was best, we shall part with neither. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| You would say so, master, if your garments were thin. |
| Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in the cold: |
| It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so bought and sold. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Go, fetch me something, I'll break ope the gate. |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| Break any breaking here, and I'll break your knave's pate. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| A man may break a word with you, sir; and words are but wind; |
| Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind. |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| It seems thou want'st breaking; out upon thee, hind! |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| Here's too much out upon thee: I pray thee, let me in. |
| DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: |
| Ay, when fowls have no feathers and fish have no fin. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Well, I'll break in; go borrow me a crow. |
| DROMIO OF EPHESUS: |
| A crow without feather; master, mean you so? |
| For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a feather: |
| If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Go, get thee gone; fetch me an iron crow. |
| BALTHAZAR: |
| Have patience, sir: O, let it not be so: |
| Herein you war against your reputation, |
| And draw within the compass of suspect |
| The unviolated honour of your wife. |
| Once this,—your long experience of her wisdom, |
| Her sober virtue, years, and modesty, |
| Plead on her part some cause to you unknown; |
| And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse |
| Why at this time the doors are made against you. |
| Be rul'd by me; depart in patience, |
| And let us to the Tiger all to dinner: |
| And, about evening, come yourself alone, |
| To know the reason of this strange restraint. |
| If by strong hand you offer to break in, |
| Now in the stirring passage of the day, |
| A vulgar comment will be made of it; |
| And that supposed by the common rout |
| Against your yet ungalled estimation |
| That may with foul intrusion enter in, |
| And dwell upon your grave when you are dead: |
| For slander lives upon succession, |
| For ever hous'd where it gets possession. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| You have prevail'd. I will depart in quiet, |
| And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry. |
| I know a wench of excellent discourse,— |
| Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle;— |
| There will we dine: this woman that I mean, |
| My wife,—but, I protest, without desert,— |
| Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal; |
| To her will we to dinner.—Get you home |
| And fetch the chain: by this I know 'tis made: |
| Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine; |
| For there's the house; that chain will I bestow,— |
| Be it for nothing but to spite my wife,—- |
| Upon mine hostess there: good sir, make haste: |
| Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me, |
| I'll knock elsewhere, to see if they'll disdain me. |
| ANGELO: |
| I'll meet you at that place some hour hence. |
| ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS: |
| Do so; this jest shall cost me some expense. |
| [Exeunt.] |
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