READ STUDY GUIDE: Act II, scenes i–iii |
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Act II, Scene i:
Rochester. An Inn-Yard.
Rochester. An Inn-Yard.
| [Enter a Carrier with a lantern in his hand.] |
| 1. CAR. |
| Heigh-ho! an't be not four by the day, I'll be hang'd: |
| Charles' wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse' not |
| pack'd.—What, ostler! |
| OST.: |
| [within.] Anon, anon. |
| 1. CAR. |
| I pr'ythee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks in the |
| point; the poor jade is wrung in the withers out of all cess. |
| [Enter another Carrier.] |
| 2. CAR. |
| Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is the |
| next way to give poor jades the bots; this house is turned |
| upside down since Robin ostler died. |
| 1. CAR. |
| Poor fellow! never joyed since the price of oats rose; it was |
| the death of him. |
| 2. CAR. |
| I think this be the most villainous house in all London road |
| for fleas: I am stung like a tench. |
| 1. CAR. |
| Like a tench! by the Mass, there is ne'er a king in Christendom |
| could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.—What, |
| ostler! come away and be hang'd; come away. |
| 2. CAR. |
| I have a gammon of bacon and two razes of ginger, to be |
| delivered as far as Charing-cross. |
| 1. CAR. |
| 'Odsbody! the turkeys in my pannier are quite starved.—What, |
| ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou never an eye in thy head? |
| canst not hear? An 'twere not as good a deed as drink to break |
| the pate of thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hang'd: |
| hast no faith in thee? |
| [Enter Gadshill.] |
| GADS.: |
| Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock? |
| 1. CAR. |
| I think it be two o'clock. |
| GADS.: |
| I pr'ythee, lend me thy lantern, to see my gelding in the |
| stable. |
| 1. CAR. |
| Nay, soft, I pray ye; I know a trick worth two of that, i'faith. |
| GADS.: |
| I pr'ythee, lend me thine. |
| 2. CAR. |
| Ay, when? canst tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth a? marry, I'll |
| see thee hang'd first. |
| GADS.: |
| Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London? |
| 2. CAR. |
| Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee.— |
| Come, neighbour Muggs, we'll call up the gentlemen: they will |
| along with company, for they have great charge. |
| [Exeunt Carriers.] |
| GADS.: |
| What, ho! chamberlain! |
| CHAM.: |
| [Within.] At hand, quoth pick-purse. |
| GADS.: |
| That's even as fair as—at hand, quoth the chamberlain; for |
| thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving |
| direction doth from labouring; thou lay'st the plot how. |
| [Enter Chamberlain.] |
| CHAM.: |
| Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I told |
| you yesternight: there's a franklin in the wild of Kent hath |
| brought three hundred marks with him in gold: I heard him |
| tell it to one of his company last night at supper; a kind of |
| auditor; one that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what. |
| They are up already, and call for eggs and butter; they will away |
| presently. |
| GADS.: |
| Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas' clerks, I'll give |
| thee this neck. |
| CHAM.: |
| No, I'll none of it: I pr'ythee, keep that for the hangman; for |
| I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man of |
| falsehood may. |
| GADS.: |
| What talkest thou to me of the hangman? if I hang, I'll make |
| a fat pair of gallows; for, if I hang, old Sir John hangs with |
| me, and thou know'st he is no starveling. Tut! there are other |
| Trojans that thou dreamest not of, the which, for sport-sake, |
| are content to do the profession some grace; that would, if |
| matters should be look'd into, for their own credit-sake, make |
| all whole. I am joined with no foot land-rakers, no long-staff |
| sixpenny strikers, none of these mad mustachio purple-hued |
| malt-worms; but with nobility and tranquillity, burgomasters and |
| great oneyers; such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner |
| than speak, and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than |
| pray: and yet, zwounds, I lie; for they pray continually to their |
| saint, the Commonwealth; or, rather, not pray to her, but prey on |
| her, for they ride up and down on her, and make her their boots. |
| CHAM.: |
| What, the Commonwealth their boots? will she hold out water |
| in foul way? |
| GADS.: |
| She will, she will; justice hath liquor'd her. We steal as in a |
| castle, cock-sure; we have the receipt of fernseed,—we walk |
| invisible. |
| CHAM.: |
| Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to the night |
| than to fern-seed for your walking invisible. |
| GADS.: |
| Give me thy hand: thou shalt have a share in our purchase, as |
| I am a true man. |
| CHAM.: |
| Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief. |
| GADS.: |
| Go to; homo is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler |
| bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy knave. |
| [Exeunt.] |
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