READ STUDY GUIDE: Act II, scenes i–iii |
|
Act II, Scene ii:
The Road by Gads-hill.
The Road by Gads-hill.
| [Enter Prince Henry and Pointz; Bardolph and Peto atsome distance.] |
| POINTZ.: |
| Come, shelter, shelter: I have remov'd Falstaff's horse, |
| and he frets like a gumm'd velvet. |
| PRINCE.: |
| Stand close. |
| [They retire.] |
| [Enter Falstaff.] |
| FAL.: |
| Pointz! Pointz, and be hang'd! Pointz! |
| PRINCE.: |
| [Coming forward.] |
| Peace, ye fat-kidney'd rascal! what a brawling dost thou keep! |
| FAL.: |
| Where's Pointz, Hal? |
| PRINCE.: |
| He is walk'd up to the top of the hill: I'll go seek him. |
| [Retires.] |
| FAL.: |
| I am accursed to rob in that thief's company: the rascal hath |
| removed my horse, and tied him I know not where. If I travel but |
| four foot by the squire further a-foot, I shall break my wind. |
| Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I 'scape |
| hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly |
| any time this two-and-twenty year, and yet I am bewitch'd with the |
| rogue's company. If the rascal have not given me medicines to make |
| me love him, I'll be hang'd; it could not be else: I have drunk |
| medicines.— |
| Pointz!—Hal!—a plague upon you both!—Bardolph!—Peto!—I'll |
| starve, ere I'll rob a foot further. An 'twere not as good a deed as |
| drink, to turn true man, and to leave these rogues, I am the veriest |
| varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground |
| is threescore and ten miles a-foot with me; and the stony-hearted |
| villains know it well enough: a plague upon't, when thieves cannot |
| be true one to another! |
| [They whistle.] Whew!—A plague upon you all! Give me |
| my horse, you rogues; give me my horse, and be hang'd! |
| PRINCE.: |
| [Coming forward.] Peace! lie down; lay thine ear close to the |
| ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travellers. |
| FAL.: |
| Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down? 'Sblood, I'll |
| not bear mine own flesh so far a-foot again for all the coin in thy |
| father's exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt me thus? |
| PRINCE.: |
| Thou liest; thou art not colted, thou art uncolted. |
| FAL.: |
| I pr'ythee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king's |
| son. |
| PRINCE.: |
| Out, ye rogue! shall I be your ostler? |
| FAL.: |
| Go, hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters! If I be |
| ta'en, I'll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you |
| all, and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison. |
| When a jest is so forward, and a-foot too, I hate it. |
| [Enter Gadshill.] |
| GADS.: |
| Stand! |
| FAL.: |
| So I do, against my will. |
| POINTZ.: |
| O, 'tis our setter: I know his voice. |
| [Comes forward with Bardolph and Peto.] |
| BARD.: |
| What news? |
| GADS.: |
| Case ye, case ye; on with your visards: there's money of |
| the King's coming down the hill; 'tis going to the King's |
| exchequer. |
| FAL.: |
| You lie, ye rogue; 'tis going to the King's tavern. |
| GADS.: |
| There's enough to make us all. |
| FAL.: |
| To be hang'd. |
| PRINCE.: |
| Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane; Ned |
| Pointz and I will walk lower; if they 'scape from your |
| encounter, then they light on us. |
| PETO.: |
| How many be there of them? |
| GADS.: |
| Some eight or ten. |
| FAL.: |
| Zwounds, will they not rob us? |
| PRINCE.: |
| What, a coward, Sir John Paunch? |
| FAL.: |
| Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather; but yet |
| no coward, Hal. |
| PRINCE.: |
| Well, we leave that to the proof. |
| POINTZ.: |
| Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge: when thou |
| need'st him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast. |
| FAL.: |
| Now cannot I strike him, if I should be hang'd. |
| PRINCE.: |
| [aside to POINTZ.] Ned, where are our disguises? |
| POINTZ.: |
| [aside to PRINCE HENRY.] Here, hard by: stand close. |
| [Exeunt Prince and Pointz.] |
| FAL.: |
| Now, my masters, happy man be his dole, say I: every man |
| to his business. |
| [Enter Travellers.] |
| FIRST TRAVELLER.: |
| Come, neighbour: |
| The boy shall lead our horses down the hill; |
| We'll walk a-foot awhile and ease our legs. |
| FALS, GADS., &C. |
| Stand! |
| SECOND TRAVELLER.: |
| Jesu bless us! |
| FAL.: |
| Strike; down with them; cut the villains' throats. Ah, |
| whoreson caterpillars! bacon-fed knaves! they hate us youth: |
| down with them; fleece them. |
| FIRST TRAVELLER.: |
| O, we're undone, both we and ours for ever! |
| FAL.: |
| Hang ye, gorbellied knaves, are ye undone? No, ye fat chuffs; |
| I would your store were here! On, bacons on! What, ye knaves! |
| young men must live. You are grand-jurors, are ye? we'll jure |
| ye, i'faith. |
| [Exeunt Fals., Gads., &c., driving the Travellers out.] |
| [Re-enter Prince Henry and Pointz, in buckram suits.] |
| PRINCE.: |
| The thieves have bound the true men. Now, could thou and I rob |
| the thieves, and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a |
| week, laughter for a month, and a good jest for ever. |
| POINTZ.: |
| Stand close: I hear them coming. |
| [They retire.] |
| [Re-enter Falstaff, Gadshill, Bardolph, and Peto.] |
| FAL.: |
| Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. |
| An the Prince and Pointz be not two arrant cowards, there's no |
| equity stirring: there's no more valour in that Pointz than in a |
| wild duck.: |
| [As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon them.] |
| PRINCE.: |
| Your money! |
| POINTZ.: |
| Villains! |
| [Falstaff, after a blow or two, and the others run away, leaving the booty behind them.] |
| PRINCE.: |
| Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse: |
| The thieves are scatter'd, and possess'd with fear |
| So strongly that they dare not meet each other; |
| Each takes his fellow for an officer. |
| Away, good Ned. Fat Falstaff sweats to death, |
| And lards the lean earth as he walks along: |
| Were't not for laughing, I should pity him. |
| POINTZ.: |
| How the rogue roar'd! |
| [Exeunt.] |
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