Act I, Scene i: Street in Messina.
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| | Leon.
: | |
| | I learn in this letter, that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this | |
| | night to Messina. | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | He is very near by this; he was not three leagues off when I | |
| | left him. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | How many gentlemen have you lost in this action? | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | But few of any sort, and none of name. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full | |
| | numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour on | |
| | a young Florentine, called Claudio. | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | Much deserved on his part, and equally remembered by Don Pedro: | |
| | He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age; doing, | |
| | in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath, indeed, | |
| | better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell | |
| | you how. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it. | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much | |
| | joy in him; even so much that joy could not show itself modest | |
| | enough without a badge of bitterness. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | Did he break out into tears? | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | In great measure. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | A kind overflow of kindness: There are no faces truer than | |
| | those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy, | |
| | than to joy at weeping! | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | I pray you, is Signior Montanto returned from the wars or no? | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | I know none of that name, lady; there was none such in the | |
| | army of any sort. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | What is he that you ask for, niece? | |
|
|
| | Hero.
: | |
| | My cousin means signior Benedick of Padua. | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | O, he is returned, and as pleasant as ever he was. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | He set up his bills here in Messina, and challenged Cupid at | |
| | the flight: and my uncle's fool, reading the challenge, | |
| | subscribed for Cupid and challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray | |
| | you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how | |
| | many hath he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his | |
| | killing. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much; but he'll | |
| | be meet with you, I doubt it not. | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a | |
| | very valiant trencherman, he hath an excellent stomach. | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | And a good soldier too, lady. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | And a good soldier to a lady:—But what is he to a lord? | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honourable | |
| | virtues. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | It is so indeed: he is no less than a stuffed man: but for | |
| | the stuffing,—Well, we are all mortal. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | You must not, sir, mistake my niece: there is a kind of merry | |
| | war betwixt signior Benedick and her: they never meet but there | |
| | is a skirmish of wit between them. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict, four of | |
| | his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed | |
| | with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let | |
| | him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for | |
| | it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable | |
| | creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new | |
| | sworn brother. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion | |
| | of his hat; it ever changes with the next block. | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | No: an he were, I would burn my study. But I pray you, who is | |
| | his companion? Is there no young squarer now, that will make a | |
| | voyage with him to the devil? | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | O Lord! he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner | |
| | caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. | |
| | God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it | |
| | will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured. | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | I will hold friends with you, lady. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | You will ne'er run mad, niece. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | No, not till a hot January. | |
|
|
| | Mess.
: | |
| | Don Pedro is approached. | |
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|
| |
[Enter Don Pedro, attended by Balthazar and others, Don John,
Claudio, and Benedick.]
| |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | Good signior Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the | |
| | fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace; | |
| | for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but when you | |
| | depart from me sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this is your | |
| | daughter. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | Her mother hath many times told me so. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | Were you in doubt that you asked her? | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you | |
| | are, being a man. Truly the lady fathers herself:—Be happy, | |
| | lady! for you are like an honourable father. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head | |
| | on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | I wonder that you will still be talking, signior Benedick; | |
| | nobody marks you. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | What, my dear lady Disdain! are you yet living? | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | Is it possible Disdain should die, while she hath such meet | |
| | food to feed it as signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must | |
| | convert to disdain if you come in her presence. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | Then is courtesy a turncoat:—But it is certain I am loved of | |
| | all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my | |
| | heart that I had not a hard heart: for, truly, I love none. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | A dear happiness to women; they would else have been troubled | |
| | with a pernicious suitor. I thank God, and my cold blood, I am | |
| | of your humour for that; I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, | |
| | than a man swear he loves me. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman | |
| | or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | Scratching could not make it worse, an 't were such a face as | |
| | yours were. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | I would my horse had the speed of your tongue; and so good a | |
| | continuer: But keep your way o' God's name; I have done. | |
|
|
| | Beat.
: | |
| | You always end with a jade's trick; I know you of old. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | That is the sum of all, Leonato.—Signior Claudio, and signior | |
| | Benedick,—my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell | |
| | him we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartly | |
| | prays some occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is | |
| | no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.— | |
| | Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled | |
| | to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty. | |
|
|
| | D. John. | |
| | I thank you. I am not of many words, but I thank you. | |
|
|
| | Leon.
: | |
| | Please it your grace lead on? | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | Your hand, Leonato; we will go together. | |
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|
| |
[Exeunt all but Benedick and Claudio.]
| |
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|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of signior Leonato? | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | I noted her not: but I looked on her. | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | Is she not a modest young lady? | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | Do you question me as an honest man should do, for my simple | |
| | true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as | |
| | being a professed tyrant to their sex? | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment. | |
| | Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, | |
| | too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise; | |
| | only this commendation I can afford her: that were she other | |
| | than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she | |
| | is, I do not like her. | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | Thou thinkest I am in sport; I pray thee tell me truly how | |
| | thou likest her. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | Would you buy her, that you enquire after her? | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | Can the world buy such a jewel? | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad | |
| | brow? or do you play the flouting Jack; to tell us Cupid is a | |
| | good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key | |
| | shall a man take you, to go in the song? | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter: | |
| | there's her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, | |
| | exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the | |
| | last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn | |
| | husband; have you? | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the | |
| | contrary, if Hero would be my wife. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | Is't come to this, i' faith? Hath not the world one man but | |
| | he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a | |
| | bachelor of three-score again? Go to, i' faith: an thou wilt | |
| | needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and | |
| | sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek you. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to | |
| | Leonato's? | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | I would your Grace would constrain me to tell. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | I charge thee on thy allegiance. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | You hear, count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I | |
| | would have you think so; but on my allegiance,—mark you this, on | |
| | my allegiance:—He is in love. With who?—now that is your | |
| | Grace's part.—Mark how short his answer is:—With Hero, | |
| | Leonato's short daughter. | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | If this were so, so were it uttered. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | Like the old tale, my lord: 'it is not so, nor 't was not so; | |
| | but, indeed, God forbid it should be so.' | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be | |
| | otherwise. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy. | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | You speak this to fetch me in, my lord. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | By my troth I speak my thought. | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | And in faith, my lord, I spoke mine. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | And by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine. | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | That I love her, I feel. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | That she is worthy, I know. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how she | |
| | should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me: | |
| | I will die in it at the stake. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of beauty. | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | And never could maintain his part but in the force of his | |
| | will. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, | |
| | I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have | |
| | a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible | |
| | baldrick, all women shall pardon me: Because, I will not do them | |
| | the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust | |
| | none; and the fine is (for the which I may go the finer,) I will | |
| | live a bachelor. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not with | |
| | love: prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get | |
| | again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's | |
| | pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel house for the sign of | |
| | blind Cupid. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith thou wilt | |
| | prove a notable argument. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and shoot at me; and | |
| | he that hits me let him be clapped on the shoulder and called | |
| | Adam. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | Well, as time shall try: | |
| | 'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.' | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | The savage bull may; but if ever this sensible Benedick bear | |
| | it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead: and | |
| | let me be vilely painted; and in such great letters as they write | |
| | 'Here is good horse to hire,' let them signify under my sign, | |
| | 'Here you may see Benedick the married man.' | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | If this should ever happen thou wouldst be horn-mad. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou | |
| | wilt quake for this shortly. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | I look for an earthquake too then. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the meantime, | |
| | good signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's: commend me to him, | |
| | and tell him I will not fail him at supper; for indeed, he | |
| | hath made great preparation. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and | |
| | so I commit you— | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | To the tuition of God: From my house (if I had it)— | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | The sixth of July: Your loving friend, Benedick. | |
|
|
| | Bene.
: | |
| | Nay, mock not, mock not: The body of your discourse is | |
| | sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly | |
| | basted on neither: ere you flout old ends any further, examine | |
| | your conscience; and so I leave you. | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | My liege, your highness now may do me good. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | My love is thine to teach; teach it but how, | |
| | And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn | |
| | Any hard lesson that may do thee good. | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | Hath Leonato any son, my lord? | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | No child but Hero, she's his only heir: | |
| | Dost thou affect her, Claudio? | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | O my lord, | |
| | When you went onward on this ended action, | |
| | I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye, | |
| | That lik'd, but had a rougher task in hand | |
| | Than to drive liking to the name of love: | |
| | But now I am return'd and that war-thoughts | |
| | Have left their places vacant, in their rooms | |
| | Come thronging soft and delicate desires, | |
| | All prompting me how fair young Hero is, | |
| | Saying I lik'd her ere I went to wars. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | Thou wilt be like a lover presently, | |
| | And tire the hearer with a book of words: | |
| | If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it; | |
| | And I will break with her;[and with her father,
And thou shalt have her:]Was't not to this end, | |
| | That thou begann'st to twist so fine a story? | |
|
|
| | Claud.
: | |
| | How sweetly do you minister to love, | |
| | That know love's grief by his complexion! | |
| | But lest my liking might too sudden seem, | |
| | I would have salv'd it with a longer treatise. | |
|
|
| | D. Pedro. | |
| | What need the bridge much broader than the flood? | |
| | The fairest grant is the necessity: | |
| | Look, what will serve is fit: 't is once, thou lovest; | |
| | And I will fit thee with the remedy. | |
| | I know we shall have revelling to-night; | |
| | I will assume thy part in some disguise, | |
| | And tell fair Hero I am Claudio; | |
| | And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart, | |
| | And take her hearing prisoner with the force | |
| | And strong encounter of my amorous tale: | |
| | Then, after, to her father will I break; | |
| | And the conclusion is, she shall be thine: | |
| | In practice let us put it presently. | |
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