Act III, Scene ii:
A Room in Leonato's House.

[Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, and Leonato.]

D. Pedro.

I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go

I toward Arragon.

Claud. :

I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll vouchsafe me.

D. Pedro.

Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your

marriage, as to show a child his new coat, and forbid him to wear

it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from

the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth;

he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's bowstring, and the little

hangman dare not shoot at him: he hath a heart as sound as a

bell, and his tongue is the clapper; for what his heart thinks

his tongue speaks.

Bene. :

Gallants, I am not as I have been.

Leon. :

So say I; methinks you are sadder.

Claud. :

I hope he be in love.

D. Pedro.

Hang him, truant; there's no true drop of blood in him, to be

truly touch'd with love: if he be sad, he wants money.

Bene. :

I have the tooth-ach.

D. Pedro.

Draw it.

Bene. :

Hang it!

Claud. :

You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

D. Pedro.

What? sigh for the tooth-ach?

Leon. :

Where is but a humour, or a worm!

Bene. :

Well, every one can master a grief, but he that has it.

Claud. :

Yet, say I, he is in love.

D. Pedro.

There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy

that he hath to strange disguises; as to be a Dutchman to-day; a

Frenchman to-morrow;[or in the shape of two countries at once, as, a German from the waist downward, all slops; and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet:]Unless he have a fancy to this

foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you

would have it appear he is.

Claud. :

If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing

old signs: he brushes his hat o' mornings: What should that bode?

D. Pedro.

Hath any man seen him at the barber's?

Claud. :

No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him; and the

old ornament of his cheek hath already stuff'd tennis-balls.

Leon. :

Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

D. Pedro.

Nay, he rubs himself with civet: Can you smell him out by

that?

Claud. :

That's as much as to say, The sweet youth's in love.

D. Pedro.

The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

Claud. :

And when was he wont to wash his face?

D. Pedro.

Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say

of him.

Claud. :

Nay, but his jesting spirit;, which is now crept into a

lutestring, and now governed by stops.

D. Pedro.

Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: Conclude he is in love.

Claud. :

Nay, but I know who loves him.

D. Pedro.

That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

Claud. :

Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of all, dies for

him.

D. Pedro.

She shall be buried with her face upwards.

Bene. :

Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ach.—Old signior, walk

aside with me; I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak

to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear.

[Exeunt Benedick and Leonato.]

D. Pedro.

For my life, to break with him about Beatrice!

Claud. :

'T is even so: Hero and Margaret have by this played their

parts with Beatrice; and then the two bears will not bite one

another when they meet.

[Enter Don John.]

D. John.

My lord and brother, God save you.

D. Pedro.

Good den, brother.

D. John.

If your leisure served, I would speak with you.

D. Pedro.

In private?

D. John.

If it please you;—yet count Claudio may hear; for what I

would speak of concerns him.

D. Pedro.

What's the matter?

D. John.

Means your lordship to be married to-morrow?[to Claudio]

D. Pedro.

You know he does.

D. John.

I know not that, when he knows what I know.

Claud. :

If there be any impediment, I pray you, discover it.

D. John.

You may think I love you not; let that appear hereafter, and

aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I

think, he holds you well; and in dearness of heart hath holp to

effect your ensuing marriage: surely, suit ill spent, and labour

ill bestowed!

D. Pedro.

Why, what's the matter?

D. John.

I came hither to tell you: and, circumstances shortened (for

she has been too long a talking of,) the lady is disloyal.

Claud. :

Who? Hero?

D. John.

Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero.

Claud. :

Disloyal?

D. John.

The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I could say

she were worse; think you of a worse title, and I will fit her

to. Wonder not till further warrant: go but with me to-night,

you shall see her chamber-window entered; even the night before

her wedding day: if you love her then, to-morrow wed her; but

it would better fit your honour to change your mind.

Claud. :

May this be so?

D. Pedro.

I will not think it.

D. John.

If you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you

know: if you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you

have seen more, and heard more, proceed accordingly.

Claud. :

If I see anything to-night why I should not marry her

to-morrow, in the congregation, where I should wed, there will I

shame her.

D. Pedro.

And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with

thee to disgrace her.

D. John.

I will disparage her no farther, till you are my witnesses:

bear it coldly but till night, and let the issue show itself.

D. Pedro.

O day untowardly turned!

Claud. :

O mischief strangely thwarting!

D. John.

O plague right well prevented!

So will you say when you have seen the sequel.

[Exeunt.]