READ STUDY GUIDE: Act III, scenes ii–iii |
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Act III, Scene ii:
The same. Before BAPTISTA'S house.
The same. Before BAPTISTA'S house.
| [Enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, TRANIO, KATHERINA, BIANCA, LUCENTIO, andATTENDANTS.] |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Signior Lucentio, this is the 'pointed day |
| That Katherine and Petruchio should be married, |
| And yet we hear not of our son-in-law. |
| What will be said? What mockery will it be |
| To want the bridegroom when the priest attends |
| To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage! |
| What says Lucentio to this shame of ours? |
| KATHERINA: |
| No shame but mine; I must, forsooth, be forc'd |
| To give my hand, oppos'd against my heart, |
| Unto a mad-brain rudesby, full of spleen; |
| Who woo'd in haste and means to wed at leisure. |
| I told you, I, he was a frantic fool, |
| Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behaviour; |
| And to be noted for a merry man, |
| He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage, |
| Make friends invited, and proclaim the banns; |
| Yet never means to wed where he hath woo'd. |
| Now must the world point at poor Katherine, |
| And say 'Lo! there is mad Petruchio's wife, |
| If it would please him come and marry her.' |
| TRANIO: |
| Patience, good Katherine, and Baptista too. |
| Upon my life, Petruchio means but well, |
| Whatever fortune stays him from his word: |
| Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise; |
| Though he be merry, yet withal he's honest. |
| KATHERINA: |
| Would Katherine had never seen him though! |
| [Exit, weeping, followed by BIANCA and others.] |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Go, girl, I cannot blame thee now to weep, |
| For such an injury would vex a very saint; |
| Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour. |
| [Enter BIONDELLO.] |
| Master, master! News! old news, and such news as you never heard |
| of! |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Is it new and old too? How may that be? |
| BIONDELLO: |
| Why, is it not news to hear of Petruchio's coming? |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Is he come? |
| BIONDELLO: |
| Why, no, sir. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| What then? |
| BIONDELLO: |
| He is coming. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| When will he be here? |
| BIONDELLO: |
| When he stands where I am and sees you there. |
| TRANIO: |
| But, say, what to thine old news? |
| BIONDELLO: |
| Why, Petruchio is coming, in a new hat and an old |
| jerkin; a pair of old breeches thrice turned; a pair of boots |
| that have been candle-cases, one buckled, another laced; an old |
| rusty sword ta'en out of the town armoury, with a broken hilt, |
| and chapeless; with two broken points: his horse hipped with an |
| old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kindred; besides, possessed |
| with the glanders and like to mose in the chine; troubled with |
| the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of windgalls, sped |
| with spavins, rayed with the yellows, past cure of the fives, |
| stark spoiled with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, swayed in |
| the back and shoulder-shotten; near-legged before, and with a |
| half-checked bit, and a head-stall of sheep's leather, which, |
| being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often |
| burst, and now repaired with knots; one girth six times pieced, |
| and a woman's crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her |
| name fairly set down in studs, and here and there pieced with |
| pack-thread. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Who comes with him? |
| BIONDELLO: |
| O, sir! his lackey, for all the world caparisoned like |
| the horse; with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose |
| on the other, gartered with a red and blue list; an old hat, and |
| the 'humour of forty fancies' prick'd in't for a feather: a |
| monster, a very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian |
| footboy or a gentleman's lackey. |
| TRANIO: |
| 'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion; |
| Yet oftentimes lie goes but mean-apparell'd. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| I am glad he's come, howsoe'er he comes. |
| BIONDELLO: |
| Why, sir, he comes not. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Didst thou not say he comes? |
| BIONDELLO: |
| Who? that Petruchio came? |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Ay, that Petruchio came. |
| BIONDELLO: |
| No, sir; I say his horse comes, with him on his back. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Why, that's all one. |
| BIONDELLO: |
 Nay, by Saint Jamy, |
| I hold you a penny, |
| A horse and a man |
| Is more than one, |
| And yet not many. |
| [Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO.] |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| Come, where be these gallants? Who is at home? |
| BAPTISTA: |
| You are welcome, sir. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| And yet I come not well. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| And yet you halt not. |
| TRANIO: |
| Not so well apparell'd |
| As I wish you were. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| Were it better, I should rush in thus. |
| But where is Kate? Where is my lovely bride? |
| How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown; |
| And wherefore gaze this goodly company, |
| As if they saw some wondrous monument, |
| Some comet or unusual prodigy? |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Why, sir, you know this is your wedding-day: |
| First were we sad, fearing you would not come; |
| Now sadder, that you come so unprovided. |
| Fie! doff this habit, shame to your estate, |
| An eye-sore to our solemn festival. |
| TRANIO: |
| And tell us what occasion of import |
| Hath all so long detain'd you from your wife, |
| And sent you hither so unlike yourself? |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear; |
| Sufficeth, I am come to keep my word, |
| Though in some part enforced to digress; |
| Which at more leisure I will so excuse |
| As you shall well be satisfied withal. |
| But where is Kate? I stay too long from her; |
| The morning wears, 'tis time we were at church. |
| TRANIO: |
| See not your bride in these unreverent robes; |
| Go to my chamber, put on clothes of mine. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| Not I, believe me: thus I'll visit her. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| But thus, I trust, you will not marry her. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha' done with words; |
| To me she's married, not unto my clothes. |
| Could I repair what she will wear in me |
| As I can change these poor accoutrements, |
| 'Twere well for Kate and better for myself. |
| But what a fool am I to chat with you |
| When I should bid good-morrow to my bride, |
| And seal the title with a lovely kiss! |
| [Exeunt PETRUCHIO, GRUMIO, and BIODELLO.] |
| TRANIO: |
| He hath some meaning in his mad attire. |
| We will persuade him, be it possible, |
| To put on better ere he go to church. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| I'll after him and see the event of this. |
| [Exeunt BAPTISTA, GREMIO and ATTENDENTS.] |
| TRANIO: |
| But to her love concerneth us to add |
| Her father's liking; which to bring to pass, |
| As I before imparted to your worship, |
| I am to get a man,—whate'er he be |
| It skills not much; we'll fit him to our turn,— |
| And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa, |
| And make assurance here in Padua, |
| Of greater sums than I have promised. |
| So shall you quietly enjoy your hope, |
| And marry sweet Bianca with consent. |
| LUCENTIO: |
| Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster |
| Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly, |
| 'Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage; |
| Which once perform'd, let all the world say no, |
| I'll keep mine own despite of all the world. |
| TRANIO: |
| That by degrees we mean to look into, |
| And watch our vantage in this business. |
| We'll over-reach the greybeard, Gremio, |
| The narrow-prying father, Minola, |
| The quaint musician, amorous Licio; |
| All for my master's sake, Lucentio. |
| [Re-enter GREMIO.] |
| Signior Gremio, came you from the church? |
| GREMIO: |
| As willingly as e'er I came from school. |
| TRANIO: |
| And is the bride and bridegroom coming home? |
| GREMIO: |
| A bridegroom, say you? 'Tis a groom indeed, |
| A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find. |
| TRANIO: |
| Curster than she? Why, 'tis impossible. |
| GREMIO: |
| Why, he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend. |
| TRANIO: |
| Why, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's dam. |
| GREMIO: |
| Tut! she's a lamb, a dove, a fool, to him. |
| I'll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest |
| Should ask if Katherine should be his wife, |
| 'Ay, by gogs-wouns' quoth he, and swore so loud |
| That, all amaz'd, the priest let fall the book; |
| And as he stoop'd again to take it up, |
| The mad-brain'd bridegroom took him such a cuff |
| That down fell priest and book, and book and priest: |
| 'Now take them up,' quoth he 'if any list.' |
| TRANIO: |
| What said the wench, when he rose again? |
| GREMIO: |
| Trembled and shook, for why, he stamp'd and swore |
| As if the vicar meant to cozen him. |
| But after many ceremonies done, |
| He calls for wine: 'A health!' quoth he, as if |
| He had been abroad, carousing to his mates |
| After a storm; quaff'd off the muscadel, |
| And threw the sops all in the sexton's face, |
| Having no other reason |
| But that his beard grew thin and hungerly |
| And seem'd to ask him sops as he was drinking. |
| This done, he took the bride about the neck, |
| And kiss'd her lips with such a clamorous smack |
| That at the parting all the church did echo. |
| And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame; |
| And after me, I know, the rout is coming. |
| Such a mad marriage never was before. |
| Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play. |
| [Music.] |
| [Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, BIANCA, BAPTISTA, HORTENSIO,GRUMIO, and Train.] |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains: |
| I know you think to dine with me to-day, |
| And have prepar'd great store of wedding cheer |
| But so it haste doth call me hence, |
| And therefore here I mean to take my leave. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Is't possible you will away to-night? |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| I must away to-day before night come. |
| Make it no wonder: if you knew my business, |
| You would entreat me rather go than stay. |
| And, honest company, I thank you all, |
| That have beheld me give away myself |
| To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife. |
| Dine with my father, drink a health to me. |
| For I must hence; and farewell to you all. |
| TRANIO: |
| Let us entreat you stay till after dinner. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| It may not be. |
| GREMIO: |
| Let me entreat you. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| It cannot be. |
| KATHERINA: |
| Let me entreat you. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| I am content. |
| KATHERINA: |
| Are you content to stay? |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| I am content you shall entreat me stay; |
| But yet not stay, entreat me how you can. |
| KATHERINA: |
| Now, if you love me, stay. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| Grumio, my horse! |
| GRUMIO: |
| Ay, sir, they be ready; the oats have eaten the horses. |
| KATHERINA: |
| Nay, then, |
| Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day; |
| No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself. |
| The door is open, sir; there lies your way; |
| You may be jogging whiles your boots are green; |
| For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself. |
| 'Tis like you'll prove a jolly surly groom |
| That take it on you at the first so roundly. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| O Kate! content thee: prithee be not angry. |
| KATHERINA: |
| I will be angry: what hast thou to do? |
| Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure. |
| GREMIO: |
| Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work. |
| KATHERINA: |
| Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner: |
| I see a woman may be made a fool, |
| If she had not a spirit to resist. |
| PETRUCHIO: |
| They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command. |
| Obey the bride, you that attend on her; |
| Go to the feast, revel and domineer, |
| Carouse full measure to her maidenhead, |
| Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves: |
| But for my bonny Kate, she must with me. |
| Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret; |
| I will be master of what is mine own. |
| She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house, |
| My household stuff, my field, my barn, |
| My horse, my ox, my ass, my anything; |
| And here she stands, touch her whoever dare; |
| I'll bring mine action on the proudest he |
| That stops my way in Padua. Grumio, |
| Draw forth thy weapon; we are beset with thieves; |
| Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man. |
| Fear not, sweet wench; they shall not touch thee, Kate; |
| I'll buckler thee against a million. |
| [Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, and GRUMIO.] |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones. |
| GREMIO: |
| Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing. |
| TRANIO: |
| Of all mad matches, never was the like. |
| LUCENTIO: |
| Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister? |
| BIANCA: |
| That, being mad herself, she's madly mated. |
| GREMIO: |
| I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated. |
| BAPTISTA: |
| Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants |
| For to supply the places at the table, |
| You know there wants no junkets at the feast. |
| Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom's place; |
| And let Bianca take her sister's room. |
| TRANIO: |
| Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it? |
| BAPTISTA: |
| She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let's go. |
| [Exeunt.] |
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