READ STUDY GUIDE: Act II |
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Act II, Scene iii:
The Grecian camp. Before the tent of ACHILLES
The Grecian camp. Before the tent of ACHILLES
| [Enter THERSITES, solus.] |
| THERSITES.: |
| How now, Thersites! What, lost in the labyrinth of thy |
| fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus? He beats me, and I |
| rail at him. O worthy satisfaction! Would it were otherwise: that |
| I could beat him, whilst he rail'd at me! 'Sfoot, I'll learn to |
| conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of my spiteful |
| execrations. Then there's Achilles, a rare engineer! If Troy be |
| not taken till these two undermine it, the walls will stand till |
| they fall of themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Olympus, |
| forget that thou art Jove, the king of gods, and, Mercury, lose |
| all the serpentine craft of thy caduceus, if ye take not that |
| little little less-than-little wit from them that they have! |
| which short-arm'd ignorance itself knows is so abundant scarce, |
| it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider without |
| drawing their massy irons and cutting the web. After this, the |
| vengeance on the whole camp! or, rather, the Neapolitan |
| bone-ache! for that, methinks, is the curse depending on those |
| that war for a placket. I have said my prayers; and devil Envy |
| say 'Amen.' What ho! my Lord Achilles! |
| [Enter PATROCLUS.] |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| Who's there? Thersites! Good Thersites, come in and rail. |
| THERSITES.: |
| If I could 'a rememb'red a gilt counterfeit, thou |
| wouldst not have slipp'd out of my contemplation; but it is no |
| matter; thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly |
| and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! Heaven bless thee from |
| a tutor, and discipline come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy |
| direction till thy death. Then if she that lays thee out says |
| thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't she never |
| shrouded any but lazars. Amen. Where's Achilles? |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| What, art thou devout? Wast thou in prayer? |
| THERSITES.: |
| Ay, the heavens hear me! |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| Amen. |
| [Enter ACHILLES.] |
| ACHILLES.: |
| Who's there? |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| Thersites, my lord. |
| ACHILLES.: |
| Where, where? O, where? Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my |
| digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to my table so |
| many meals? Come, what's Agamemnon? |
| THERSITES.: |
| Thy commander, Achilles. Then tell me, Patroclus, what's |
| Achilles? |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| Thy lord, Thersites. Then tell me, I pray thee, what's |
| Thersites? |
| THERSITES.: |
| Thy knower, Patroclus. Then tell me, Patroclus, what art |
| thou? |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| Thou must tell that knowest. |
| ACHILLES.: |
| O, tell, tell, |
| THERSITES.: |
| I'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands |
| Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' knower; and |
| Patroclus is a fool. |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| You rascal! |
| THERSITES.: |
| Peace, fool! I have not done. |
| ACHILLES.: |
| He is a privileg'd man. Proceed, Thersites. |
| THERSITES.: |
| Agamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool; Thersites is a |
| fool; and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool. |
| ACHILLES.: |
| Derive this; come. |
| THERSITES.: |
| Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles; Achilles is a |
| fool to be commanded of Agamemnon; Thersites is a fool to serve |
| such a fool; and this Patroclus is a fool positive. |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| Why am I a fool? |
| THERSITES.: |
| Make that demand of the Creator. It suffices me thou |
| art. Look you, who comes here? |
| ACHILLES.: |
| Come, Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody. Come in with me, |
| Thersites. |
| [Exit.] |
| THERSITES.: |
| Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery. |
| All the argument is a whore and a cuckold-a good quarrel to draw |
| emulous factions and bleed to death upon. Now the dry serpigo on |
| the subject, and war and lechery confound all! Exit |
| [Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIOMEDES, AJAX, and CALCHAS.] |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| Where is Achilles? |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| Within his tent; but ill-dispos'd, my lord. |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| Let it be known to him that we are here. |
| He shent our messengers; and we lay by |
| Our appertainings, visiting of him. |
| Let him be told so; lest, perchance, he think |
| We dare not move the question of our place |
| Or know not what we are. |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| I shall say so to him. |
| [Exit.] |
| ULYSSES.: |
| We saw him at the opening of his tent. |
| He is not sick. |
| AJAX.: |
| Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart. You may call it |
| melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by my head, 'tis |
| pride. But why, why? Let him show us a cause. A word, my lord. |
| [Takes AGAMEMNON aside.] |
| NESTOR.: |
| What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? |
| ULYSSES.: |
| Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him. |
| NESTOR.: |
| Who, Thersites? |
| ULYSSES.: |
| He. |
| NESTOR.: |
| Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument |
| ULYSSES.: |
| No; you see he is his argument that has his argument— |
| Achilles. |
| NESTOR.: |
| All the better; their fraction is more our wish than their |
| faction. But it was a strong composure a fool could disunite! |
| ULYSSES.: |
| The amity that wisdom knits not, folly may easily untie. |
| [Re-enter PATROCLUS.] |
| Here comes Patroclus.: |
| NESTOR.: |
| No Achilles with him. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy; his legs |
| are legs for necessity, not for flexure. |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| Achilles bids me say he is much sorry |
| If any thing more than your sport and pleasure |
| Did move your greatness and this noble state |
| To call upon him; he hopes it is no other |
| But for your health and your digestion sake, |
| An after-dinner's breath. |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| Hear you, Patroclus. |
| We are too well acquainted with these answers; |
| But his evasion, wing'd thus swift with scorn, |
| Cannot outfly our apprehensions. |
| Much attribute he hath, and much the reason |
| Why we ascribe it to him. Yet all his virtues, |
| Not virtuously on his own part beheld, |
| Do in our eyes begin to lose their gloss; |
| Yea, like fair fruit in an unwholesome dish, |
| Are like to rot untasted. Go and tell him |
| We come to speak with him; and you shall not sin |
| If you do say we think him over-proud |
| And under-honest, in self-assumption greater |
| Than in the note of judgment; and worthier than himself |
| Here tend the savage strangeness he puts on, |
| Disguise the holy strength of their command, |
| And underwrite in an observing kind |
| His humorous predominance; yea, watch |
| His pettish lunes, his ebbs, his flows, as if |
| The passage and whole carriage of this action |
| Rode on his tide. Go tell him this, and ad |
| That if he overhold his price so much |
| We'll none of him, but let him, like an engine |
| Not portable, lie under this report: |
| Bring action hither; this cannot go to war. |
| A stirring dwarf we do allowance give |
| Before a sleeping giant. Tell him so. |
| PATROCLUS.: |
| I shall, and bring his answer presently. |
| [Exit.] |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| In second voice we'll not be satisfied; |
| We come to speak with him. Ulysses, enter you. |
| [Exit ULYSSES.] |
| AJAX.: |
| What is he more than another? |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| No more than what he thinks he is. |
| AJAX.: |
| Is he so much? Do you not think he thinks himself a better |
| man than I am? |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| No question. |
| AJAX.: |
| Will you subscribe his thought and say he is? |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| No, noble Ajax; you are as strong, as valiant, as wise, |
| no less noble, much more gentle, and altogether more tractable. |
| AJAX.: |
| Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not |
| what pride is. |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| Your mind is the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the |
| fairer. He that is proud eats up himself. Pride is his own glass, |
| his own trumpet, his own chronicle; and whatever praises itself |
| but in the deed devours the deed in the praise. |
| [Re-enter ULYSSES.] |
| AJAX.: |
| I do hate a proud man as I do hate the engend'ring of toads. |
| NESTOR.: |
| [Aside] |
| And yet he loves himself: is't not strange? |
| ULYSSES.: |
| Achilles will not to the field to-morrow. |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| What's his excuse? |
| ULYSSES.: |
| He doth rely on none; |
| But carries on the stream of his dispose, |
| Without observance or respect of any, |
| In will peculiar and in self-admission. |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| Why will he not, upon our fair request, |
| Untent his person and share the air with us? |
| ULYSSES.: |
| Things small as nothing, for request's sake only, |
| He makes important; possess'd he is with greatness, |
| And speaks not to himself but with a pride |
| That quarrels at self-breath. Imagin'd worth |
| Holds in his blood such swol'n and hot discourse |
| That 'twixt his mental and his active parts |
| Kingdom'd Achilles in commotion rages, |
| And batters down himself. What should I say? |
| He is so plaguy proud that the death tokens of it |
| Cry 'No recovery.' |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| Let Ajax go to him. |
| Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent. |
| 'Tis said he holds you well; and will be led |
| At your request a little from himself. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| O Agamemnon, let it not be so! |
| We'll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes |
| When they go from Achilles. Shall the proud lord |
| That bastes his arrogance with his own seam |
| And never suffers matter of the world |
| Enter his thoughts, save such as doth revolve |
| And ruminate himself—shall he be worshipp'd |
| Of that we hold an idol more than he? |
| No, this thrice-worthy and right valiant lord |
| Shall not so stale his palm, nobly acquir'd, |
| Nor, by my will, assubjugate his merit, |
| As amply titled as Achilles is, |
| By going to Achilles. |
| That were to enlard his fat-already pride, |
| And add more coals to Cancer when he burns |
| With entertaining great Hyperion. |
| This lord go to him! Jupiter forbid, |
| And say in thunder 'Achilles go to him.' |
| NESTOR.: |
| [Aside.] O, this is well! He rubs the vein of him. |
| DIOMEDES.: |
| [Aside.] And how his silence drinks up this applause! |
| AJAX.: |
| If I go to him, with my armed fist I'll pash him o'er the |
| face. |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| O, no, you shall not go. |
| AJAX.: |
| An 'a be proud with me I'll pheeze his pride. |
| Let me go to him. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| Not for the worth that hangs upon our quarrel. |
| AJAX.: |
| A paltry, insolent fellow! |
| NESTOR.: |
| [Aside.] How he describes himself! |
| AJAX.: |
| Can he not be sociable? |
| ULYSSES.: |
| [Aside.] The raven chides blackness. |
| AJAX.: |
| I'll let his humours blood. |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| [Aside.] He will be the physician that should be the patient. |
| AJAX.: |
| An all men were a my mind— |
| ULYSSES.: |
| [Aside.] Wit would be out of fashion. |
| AJAX.: |
| 'A should not bear it so, 'a should eat's words first. |
| Shall pride carry it? |
| NESTOR.: |
| [Aside.] An 'twould, you'd carry half. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| [Aside.] 'A would have ten shares. |
| AJAX.: |
| I will knead him, I'll make him supple. |
| NESTOR.: |
| [Aside.] He's not yet through warm. Force him with praises; |
| pour in, pour in; his ambition is dry. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| [To AGAMEMNON.] My lord, you feed too much on this dislike. |
| NESTOR.: |
| Our noble general, do not do so. |
| DIOMEDES.: |
| You must prepare to fight without Achilles. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| Why 'tis this naming of him does him harm. |
| Here is a man-but 'tis before his face; |
| I will be silent. |
| NESTOR.: |
| Wherefore should you so? |
| He is not emulous, as Achilles is. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| Know the whole world, he is as valiant. |
| AJAX.: |
| A whoreson dog, that shall palter with us thus! |
| Would he were a Troyan! |
| NESTOR.: |
| What a vice were it in Ajax now— |
| ULYSSES.: |
| If he were proud. |
| DIOMEDES.: |
| Or covetous of praise. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| Ay, or surly borne. |
| DIOMEDES.: |
| Or strange, or self-affected. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| Thank the heavens, lord, thou art of sweet composure |
| Praise him that gat thee, she that gave thee suck; |
| Fam'd be thy tutor, and thy parts of nature |
| Thrice-fam'd beyond, beyond all erudition; |
| But he that disciplin'd thine arms to fight— |
| Let Mars divide eternity in twain |
| And give him half; and, for thy vigour, |
| Bull-bearing Milo his addition yield |
| To sinewy Ajax. I will not praise thy wisdom, |
| Which, like a bourn, a pale, a shore, confines |
| Thy spacious and dilated parts. Here's Nestor, |
| Instructed by the antiquary times— |
| He must, he is, he cannot but be wise; |
| But pardon, father Nestor, were your days |
| As green as Ajax' and your brain so temper'd, |
| You should not have the eminence of him, |
| But be as Ajax. |
| AJAX.: |
| Shall I call you father? |
| NESTOR.: |
| Ay, my good son. |
| DIOMEDES.: |
| Be rul'd by him, Lord Ajax. |
| ULYSSES.: |
| There is no tarrying here; the hart Achilles |
| Keeps thicket. Please it our great general |
| To call together all his state of war; |
| Fresh kings are come to Troy. To-morrow |
| We must with all our main of power stand fast; |
| And here's a lord—come knights from east to west |
| And cull their flower, Ajax shall cope the best. |
| AGAMEMNON.: |
| Go we to council. Let Achilles sleep. |
| Light boats sail swift, though greater hulks draw deep. |
| [Exeunt.] |
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