READ STUDY GUIDE: Act II, scenes v-vi |
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Act II, Scene v:
5. The same. A street
5. The same. A street
| [Enter SPEED and LAUNCE.] |
| SPEED: |
| Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan! |
| LAUNCE: |
| Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I |
| reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be hanged, |
| nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid, and |
| the hostess say 'Welcome!' |
| SPEED: |
| Come on, you madcap; I'll to the alehouse with you |
| presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have |
| five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with |
| Madam Julia? |
| LAUNCE: |
| Marry, after they clos'd in earnest, they parted very |
| fairly in jest. |
| SPEED: |
| But shall she marry him? |
| LAUNCE: |
| No. |
| SPEED: |
| How then? Shall he marry her? |
| LAUNCE: |
| No, neither. |
| SPEED: |
| What, are they broken? |
| LAUNCE: |
| No, they are both as whole as a fish. |
| SPEED: |
| Why then, how stands the matter with them? |
| LAUNCE: |
| Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well |
| with her. |
| SPEED: |
| What an ass art thou! I understand thee not. |
| LAUNCE: |
| What a block art thou that thou canst not! My staff |
| understands me. |
| SPEED: |
| What thou sayest? |
| LAUNCE: |
| Ay, and what I do too; look thee, I'll but lean, and my |
| staff understands me. |
| SPEED: |
| It stands under thee, indeed. |
| LAUNCE: |
| Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one. |
| SPEED: |
| But tell me true, will't be a match? |
| LAUNCE: |
| Ask my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if |
| he shake his tail and say nothing, it will. |
| SPEED: |
| The conclusion is, then, that it will. |
| LAUNCE: |
| Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a |
| parable. |
| SPEED: |
| 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest thou |
| that my master is become a notable lover? |
| LAUNCE: |
| I never knew him otherwise. |
| SPEED: |
| Than how? |
| LAUNCE: |
| A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be. |
| SPEED: |
| Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak'st me. |
| LAUNCE: |
| Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy master. |
| SPEED: |
| I tell thee my master is become a hot lover. |
| LAUNCE: |
| Why, I tell thee I care not though he burn himself in love. |
| If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an |
| Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian. |
| SPEED: |
| Why? |
| LAUNCE: |
| Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to |
| the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go? |
| SPEED: |
| At thy service. |
| [Exeunt.] |
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